Saturday, 7 February 2015

I don't want to share, but I can't not

No, I dont want to see that your child has just been born
That this is your first family selfie —the only one before you untie the knot
I dont want to see pictures of your honeymoon
And that diamond ring which will be enshrined in your tomb.
That first kiss you stole from her, the first crush
A glance, that feeling
Let that stay with you—
For you, and, only you, for when you are heartbroken and aground
And when you die,
I dont want your face popping up on my timeline
So, I see you are more missed in death than in life
 For, when your life unravels in front of mine
Dipping in and out in real-time
It’s confusing and then…

When we meet
We dont really have anything to speak
For I know everything about you,
Even what your family mishaps look like.
And while I too fall prey to it too many a time
I want to try and hold onto my sacred space, from now on
And not share.

Yet, I can't not...


Saturday, 24 January 2015

Debdatta Sahay aka DDS - Record holder for most Book Reviews, Limca Book of Records

Debdatta or DDS as I think of  her read my first novel The Destiny of Shaitan and gave it an amazing review. To an author trying to find her voice she was the proverbial lifeline I clutched at to navigate my way through the shark-infested-waters of fast-ebbing writerly self-confidence. I survived.

And went on to write The Many Lives of Ruby Iyer, in no small part thanks to incredible reviewers like DDS who saw the tapestry I was weaving. I was fortunate to meet DDS not long ago. 

In a world where adults bemoan the lack of reading in the new generation, DDS stands out like a shooting star. She is passionate about reading. 

So passionate, she quit her job—you heard me right— to ... R.E.A.D.

Yep - she is a dream come true for authors like me. She actually reads ... and reviews. And she reads 'em fast. Last year she read 260 books. Whew!! It came as no surprise to me to find she now holds the Limca Book of Records for most book reviews in India :D

DDS reminds me of why it's so important to follow your passion. She is living proof that if you simply do what you love to do... well the rest will come. So simple, yet so difficult.

Check out her interview here in my Inspirational Avatar series—

DDS - holds the Limca Book of Records for Most Book Reviews

A. How do you feel when you read?
I don't think it is a feeling I can describe. It is my passion. I live the lives of the characters I read about. Its often invigorating, refreshing and sometimes sad. But the overall experience of going through so many lives is inexplicable. You have to live it to feel it.

B. Why the goal of reading x no of books in certain days?
Reading Challenges always motivate me to read more and that is afterall, all I ever wanted to do. 

C. What stories are you partial to?
I love any story, irrespective of its genre, that has a good plot and solid characters. But Satyajit Ray, Agatha Christie and Enid Blyton are the ones that really got me into reading and so mystery/thrillers will always be my go-to genre. And even after 23 years of reading, I often relax with my collection of "Feluda", "Poirot" and "Famous Five".

D. Is reading on the decline in the world? ( and in India)
That seems to be the popular opinion what with the different gadgets that lure today's kids. But the fact is that people are reading more - whether its thanks to J.K.Rowling or Chetan Bhagat (did I just take those two names in the same sentence?!!), kids and adults are reading more. Plus, the e-readers have opened up a whole new reading generation. I know people who never read before are now picking up the juicy romcoms for entertainment. Harry Potter on the other hand opened up the world of fantasy to a lot of people like me who previously thought that magic was for kids.

E. What is the role of commercial fiction in a reader's journey?
Commercial Fiction is probably the most popular genre. It is what gets people into reading and keeps them continuing. At least 55-60% of what I read can be categorised under commercial fiction. So, I would say it plays a pretty important role and mostly shapes up a reader's reading habit.

F. The role of eBooks vs printed books in a reader's journey?
eBooks are convenient - one can carry as many books while traveling, of course it saves space and is cheaper... But for a true bookworm print books will be the go to. The smell, feel of the printed words on a page and the feel of holding a print copy is irreplaceable.

G. How do you discover new books?
I have a few go to blogs that I check out often for their reviews. Besides, there's always Goodreads. I also browse, read blurbs and chapters off random books at a bookstore.

H. What made you finally move from working a job to reading full time. The incident which tipped you over.You have to understand that when people of my age were busy studying for better grades and dreaming of high flying careers, I dreamt of a time when I could just read for days and don't have to do anything else. So when my job pressure was so much that it took me 10 days to read one book, I simply quit my job. It was that easy for me thanks to a VERY supportive husband.

H. The one thing you want to do: have done before you die? 
 I want to visit and travel all over Italy... Every nook and corner.

Debdatta Dasgupta Sahay  has been blogging about books and authors at since Feb 10, 2012 and as of June 30, 2014, she had posted 387 reviews. The first book she reviewed was The Postcard Killers by James Patterson. She has conducted 70 author interviews too

Friday, 9 January 2015

My choice is that I don't have to choose

I admire Madonna. From the time she burst on the pop-music scene, she has constantly reinvented herself every decade, always teaming up with the current artist on trend. 

I am not Madonna.

But thanks to technology I too am able to constantly reinvent myself in this lifetime.

So it means I don't have to choose just one role anymore. I can simultaneously be an author, a blogger and a marketer.

I was a writer first, then became a marketer, thanks to opportunities in media and also because the roles held which allowed me to travel to many different countries in the world. The most memorable of these is the city of Belgrade. A story I heard there was that  when NATO bombed the city in 1999, the schools, colleges, offices were shut down, for security reasons.

But rather than stay scared at home, the Serbs decided that what the heck! We are going to die some day, and if it's today so be it. The general consensus was that they'd rather die while partying on the town than cowering at home. And, so while bombs dropped outside they were at the pub celebrating.

Fact or fiction I don't know, but this particular nugget has stayed with me. Probably because I wish I could be as 'ballsy' as the Serbs. You know... Just live in the moment, make the most of it, rather than continuously plan out for the future as is what we are programmed to do.

So, the reason I share this story, is that all through the time I journeyed through these highly demanding marketing roles, I realise now I was actually searching for human interest stories.

I looked for it in the background of my peers, in the motivations of the CEOs I met—often trying to understand what makes them do what they did—in the more interesting real life-story narrated by the security-guard at the last office I worked at. It was this trying to understand what people are all about, which propelled me on. Perhaps in their experiences, I was looking for a key to understanding myself better.

All that time, I had been building scenarios & characters in my head. So when I finally put some real intention behind the words, stringing them together, I found I had opened something even I didn’t really understand. Not fully.

I am learning with each book I write, with each character I create.

Being a marketer is very valuable, because even as I write my novels the marketer in me is figuring out how to position it and trying to understand how what I am writing will stand out in the cluttered world we live in. I think it even helps me in sharpening my protagonists point-of-view. Because after all that's what a brand is about: it has certain values, a certain DNA, an unique take on the world. That's the perception people buy into. And so for myself as an author brand and for each of my book/character-brands, I am subconsciously building the messaging, of how to convey what I am writing to the world; even as I am writing.

Not too shabby then.

I used to be very defensive that I had been a marketer first and an author later. For it felt like in doing so I had been untrue to the artist in me. But I know now, that all through that time, I always have been a writer. That is the red-thread running through my life. Of, being someone who needs to express herself.  Yet, that need for self-expression has been of varying strengths at different stages in my life.

Earlier, in life the need for independence and travel overrode everything else. 

Now, the need to self-express is most critical. 

So, while I will always be both an author and a marketer, I can instinctively play the role asked of me, depending on the situation I am faced with.

My choice is that I don't have to choose.

This post is a part of #UseYourAnd activity at BlogAdda in association with Gillette Venus

Tuesday, 23 December 2014

Time is a fickle mistress

Many years after passing out of university, I find myself back on campus. This time my classmate & investment banker par-excellence, Sanjay Bajaj, interviews me on the birth of Ruby Iyer, my writing process, how to find the work-write balance and why Ruby is so angry? Thank you NMIMS alumni cell and my alma mater, Narsee Monjee Institute of Management Studies in Bombay for hosting the event.

Tuesday, 2 December 2014

How 26/11 changed this life of @RubyIyer

The 26/11 terrorist attack on Bombay 
and how it changed this life of @RubyIyer

Wednesday, 26 November 2014

The Ruby Iyer Diaires - 26/11 entry


The call comes a few hours past twilight. After the sun has descended into the depths of the Arabian Sea, its golden rays setting the curve of the Gateway of India on fire.

Sarita has taken Sanjay to the Taj Mahal hotel, for a kiddies’ birthday party. My little bro is just eight, but already he has a more active social life than me. Its 9.30 pm and they are not home yet. Apparently he is already inculcating the habit of staying out late at night.

Ma is all settled in for the evening, sunk in the cushions of her favourite settee: the Chesterfield Leather Sofa imported from the UK. She’s already got her third G&T of the evening in hand. Fully happy she is just now.

Dad is in the study, the closed door indicating a do-not-disturb-I-am-working-mode.

I wander the corridor: wearing a path in the space between my room, the living room and the kitchen. 

A restless ghost. 

I suppose I should do my homework… Who cares about algebra anyway?

I could complete the art assignment… Yeesh!

Then there is that essay to write… UGH!

I look to where I can see Ma’s toes, the nails painted a bright coral. Against the dull brown of the sofa, it resembles a pale, slimy, fish with a pouty, pink mouth.

From the dining table, I pick a bunch of grapes from the fruit bowl. Sarita has placed them there on strict instructions from Ma… Its not like she wants me to eat fruit, to stay healthy or anything like that. Oh! No. It’s just that, a cluster of grapes in a wooden bowl, next to shiny, red apples look really good on display. Just like in Good Housekeeping.

I pop a grape into my mouth, breaking the skin so the juice spurts out. It’s sweet and trite at the same time. Taking aim, I pelt one in the direction of Ma’s foot… And miss.

I raise another to my eyes, aligning it in line with her toe. I let it go and am rewarded with a flinch of her foot, nothing more. I need something bigger, a rock perhaps? 

There’s no guarantee she will notice me even then.

Instead, I walk into the living room and picking up the remote control, point it in the direction of the TV, switching it on.

The harsh music of a breaking-news program cuts through the calm, followed by a small shriek. "Really Ruby, do you have to scare me like that?" Ma reaches to take the remote from my hands, then stops transfixed.

The screen shows the red blush of the grand dome of the Taj Mahal Hotel. There are gun shots somewhere off screen and in response greyish blue smoke rises in the distance from one of the upper windows of the note. 

The images are shaky as if the hands of the person holding the camera are trembling. But there is no mistaking the news scroll: 

Breaking News. Series of explosions in the city. Terrorist attack suspected

The news reporter continues: "I am reporting live from the Taj Mahal hotel, where shots have been reported. In at least another two areas of the city shootings are going on. We believe that gunmen went into the Oberoi hotel and the Taj Mahal hotel and opened fire. I can’t confirm any of this at the moment, but at least four people are reported dead…"

A fist slams into my stomach and the hairs on my forearms stand on end as if I have been blasted by an arctic burst of air-conditioned air. At twelve I am old enough to recognise it for it is. Disaster! How strange to see a turning point in my life, play out in front of me. I feel like I am in a dream. 

Then, a sound makes me turn. The glass has fallen from Ma’s hands onto the settee, staining it with colourless liquid. The lemon twist bounces on the sofa before falling to the white carpet   below. 

I flinch awaiting a flurry of angry words at making her spill her drink. She doesn’t move. Doesn’t even notice the leather shrivel under the onslaught of the spilt drink. 

She is really, upset… And it’s not at me.

Something makes me walk over. 

I really should leave the room now.

I don’t want to feel anything for her.

Why does her pain seem like my own?

Slipping onto the seat next to her, I put my arms around her. Ma hesitates. I sense the turmoil in her; something is shattering inside, squirming to be let loose. Fear!

Her hand creeps around my waist and she pulls me to her… Close enough for the orange-cinnamon of her perfume to waft through me.

We watch wordless at the people running away from the hotel. Shots are fired… Sparks of red in the distance. 

Neither of us has voiced the unspoken. Sanjay! He is there. If we don’t say it aloud, it can’t be true right?

A phone rings in the distance, jerking us from the trance the flickering images have flung over us. A door slams and Dad runs into the room. He stops when he sees us cowering in a corner of the sofa. I look up and see the lines on his forehead. His eyes are terrified. He comes to a stop near the door, hovering there, not sure what to do. 

I hold out a hand, a plea in my eyes. Help us! He too hesitates. A look I can’t interpret scuttles over his face: Confusion? Anxiety? Distress…? It is gone before I can put a finger to it. Brow still furrowed, he walks towards us, sitting down next to me. 

"My baby, my poor baby. God save my little boy…" I have never heard Ma pray as she does that day, or ever evoke the powers above. 

After today, she never will again.

Dad embraces both of us: a large, warm hug. The smell of wood smoke-citrus and something else nutty flows over me.

I watch the tragedy unfold on screen.

Enfolded for the first time in living memory between my parents, I am happy.

Read the complete story in The Many Lives of Ruby Iyer  Amazon US  |  Amazon UK|  Amazon India.  Add Ruby on  Goodreads

Sunday, 23 November 2014

The Many Lives of @RubyIyer - Chapter 2


THE TIMBER BETWEEN the rail tracks is not dusty. Sleepers, isn’t that what they’re called? Killed by a sleeper? Is that what my gravestone will read? But just because I attended a convent school does not mean I will be buried in a graveyard. An infinitely more gracious way to depart than being burnt on a funeral pyre.

I should be headed there right now, except in a final desperate attempt to slow down my fall, I put out my hand, managing to grasp the concrete edge of the platform, screaming as my fingernails tear in my attempt to right myself. My body spans the height of the platform, my feet just touching the ground. I look up into the face of my tormentor.

With his eyes gleaming, excitement adorns his face, giving it an avaricious look. It’s as if he is caught in the throes of arousal. I shudder; the disgust racing through my body is almost as deadly as the anger inside me.

When he leans down towards me, stretching out a hand as if to help, I shrink away towards an end that now seems infinitely more preferable. He personifies the fear that has haunted me most of my teenage life. He is the reason the beast inside me often rages, begging to raise its head, to be let loose at everything I despise in this city.

"Don’t stay out after dark, little girl," my ma’s voice taunts. "You don’t know what demons are out there."

She knows just when to make an appearance, my ma: my very own ethereal leash who knows just how to make me feel good about myself.

Then, a low rumbling like that of a giant stomach growling in hunger, starts up somewhere to my right. As I look towards it, the noise begins to heighten like that of a pressure cooker, whistling, gathering steam, then growing louder as if it’s not able to contain its anxiety any longer. Rising from the ground, it whooshes towards me. I expect a tidal wave of earth to emerge from the layers below the tracks. But all that gushes towards me is a very angry 8.05am to Churchgate.

The train blares its horn, strident, cutting through the din of the crowds, which roar back in anticipation of that final leap which will have them on their way. Above the din of the crowds on the platform, a dog howls, its plaintive wail a mirror image of my feelings. Across from me, red and blue sparks flare in the air, released by the forked tongue of an open electricity wire dangling between the tracks.

I call out to the people jostling against the Hand. My mouth opens, but the futility of the situation robs me of any coherent means of expression. There is no choice now.

 I put up my arm, and the same hand that fondled me earlier now clutches my wrist, circling it. His lips are drawn back in an obscene mask of glee. The boy has a mark, a tattoo, like a barcode on the inside of his wrist. What can it be? A fashion trend that passed me by? Have people taken to tattooing barcodes so they can be scanned through into all the latest restaurants?

Hysteria grips me, holding me immobile, bubbling up in laughter as the Hand bends towards me. He claws off my other hand, the one still clenched around a dent in the platform, raising me up high enough so that I hang there, toes almost touching the ground, dangling by my armpits.

I am unable to think for the terror pounding through my blood, beating a harsh tirade at my pulse points. All I can hear is the sound of my own breathing.

Then I am flying through the air, arcing over the tracks, as the train thunders by, the breeze from its velocity squeezing out the noise between my ears.

 Blessed silence.

Click here to read chapter 1

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Tuesday, 11 November 2014

The Many Lives of @RubyIyer ... And how it began as a humble weekly series

In which I share a little about Ruby's beginnings, 
and how she is changing me.

Thanks to @PerkOfBeingKita whose 
very cool Book Unboxing Video inspired me 
to come up with my own Ruby unleashed one.

Wednesday, 5 November 2014

The Many Lives of Ruby Iyer. Preview Chapter One

Chapter 1

THE MORNING INVOCATION from the Shiva temple seeps through the holes in the faulty concrete walls of my bedroom. By the time, they reach my ears, the Sanskrit chants entwine with the pinging of my iPhone, a multi-layered vibration, which blends with the humming of the air conditioner. The resultant noise is a mix of the spiritual and the electronic, tinged with the salty air from the Arabian Sea, then filtered through dusty vents. It’s that special Bombay vibe. Unique to this urban sprawl, the former seven islands of Bom Bahia—the Good Bay, as named by its Portuguese founders.

Reaching out to shut off the phone, my hand slams into the glass of water next to my bed. It promptly falls over, the crash more effective in cutting through my sleep than the iPhone’s wake-up alarm. Opening first one eye then the other, I reluctantly slide out my arms from under the cotton sheet, which has kept my body at just the right temperature through the night.

Meanwhile, the air conditioner—a luxury I can ill afford, now that I am paying my way through life, instead of living under someone else’s roof—continues to work overtime, trying its best to bring down the temperature of the room to less than blistering hot. When the cool draft caresses my skin, the chill slithering along the dusty floor to keep the feverish temperatures of the city at bay, only then can I drift off to sleep.

I stumble out of bed, and into the adjoining kitchen and fire up the stove below the saucepan already half filled with water. Yawning, I stretch my hands above my head to work out the kinks in my back. One by one, the vertebrae along my spine pop, as I straighten.

 "Where’s my chai?" Pankaj, my flatmate, props himself against the doorway to his own cubicle-sized room.

"Get it yourself, bitch," I reply mildly, spooning out tea leaves into a saucepan.

“... Please?” He wheedles, “pretty, please?”

Ha! I’ve trained him well. “But, since you have asked me so politely ... I might just make your chai. This time.”

 "Haven't I told you to wait till the water boils before adding the tea leaves?" Pankaj protests. I mentally mouth before adding the tea leaves in sync with his voice. He loves to watch my fumbling efforts in the kitchen, just for the sheer pleasure it gives him to criticise my every move.

"Okay Mum," I mumble, splashing milk into the now boiling liquid and letting the concoction stew for a few seconds before pouring it into the mismatched cups. Looking around for the sugar, I add the white crystals to Panky’s cup, pausing in the act of adding a spoonful to my own.

"Ah! Time for the sugar dance I see."

"Umph!" I don’t bother with a reply. It’s great having a friend like Panky who knows me so well.

It’s also uncomfortable that he has gotten to know me that well.

"Go on, do it, Ruby. A spoonful more can’t kill you."

Of course, I agreed with him. Not that I would ever admit to it to his face for that would be totally stroking his ego, making him even more insufferable than what he is now. I dunk in the sugar, stirring it quickly. If I didn’t see it, it didn’t exist, right?

Sliding one of the half-full cups towards him I deeply inhale the scent of the steaming liquid before gulping it down. Barely tasting it, I let the caffeine kick my lower belly, feeling the blood vessels along my skin bloom as if dancing to the sudden onslaught of the monsoons.

"Don’t kill all your taste buds in one go, now." Panky snickers.

"I have to drink my chai boiling hot."

"No kidding!" He teases. "You are the first South Indian I know who prefers tea to coffee."

"Strange, no?” I take the few steps needed to reach the tiny breakfast nook, perching on the sole remaining barstool. "I knew we were going to be friends for life; from the moment you called me a South Indian, instead of that hated M word."

"The M word?" Pankaj asks, puzzled. Then the frown on his forehead clears. "Ah! The word, of course."

"See, I once brought my friend Tanya home for lunch. I was about seven—I think. The cook had just served up steaming hot idlis or rice cakes as Ma preferred to call them. They sound so delicious, right? I hate them." I shudder in recollection. "I’d happily go through life without seeing the face of another of those white slimy things. Ugh!"

"What a drama queen you are, Ruby. Idlis aren’t all that bad," Panky protests, only half serious. I know he’s only trying to bait me, but I can’t help it. I am quick to rise to the challenge.

"Ha! So tell me, Pankaj Verma, how many times have you gone to a restaurant and voluntarily ordered idlis off the menu? Hanh?" Seeing his shamefaced look, I crow in triumph. "See? Even you, who pretends to like those awful things, doesn’t ever order them out of choice." I mutter, "Given that that woman is not even of South Indian origin—only married to one—I don’t understand why she likes them so much."

 Taking a pause, I warm to my story, quite forgetting I have sworn never to speak of my parents with anyone, including Pankaj. "Anyways …" I pause dramatically. "So, there’s Ma, in her fashionable cotton-silk blended saree, which was all the rage at that time, by the way, and sporting this big red pottu." I touch the spot between my eyebrows, where many Indian women wear a vermillion dot, symbolic of the third eye. "She sat at the head of our antique dining table, gin and tonic in one hand, a cigarette in the other, not quite paying attention to our excited chatter until Tanya turns to me and goes, "Oh! You are Madrasi?’"

Pankaj sputters. "Whoever says Madrasi anymore? Just because Madras is one of the biggest cities in the south of India, doesn’t mean you just have to label anyone from the region Madrasi."

 "I know, right? My ma gave poor Tania an earful that day and had her run off crying. I don't know what traumatised me more—having my best friend call me Madrasi or losing a friend, thanks to Ma's outburst."

Not that being called Madrasi is derogatory. Of course not. It had just felt uncool in South Bombay, or SoBo, as those square miles of eye-wateringly, expensive real estate are called. I had grown up there surrounded by prime quality human specimens, all tall, and fair, bearing genes of their Aryan forefathers from the north of the country.

My father carried the unmistakable swarthier features characteristic of families from the south.

Just a thousand miles divided my origins from those of my neighbours, yet culturally we may well have been from another planet, the smells and sounds of my home were that alien to them.

"Your ma's quite a character, hanh?"

"Yah!" You have no idea! "You should meet my Dad, though."

Panky opens his mouth as if to ask another question about my family. I am relieved when instead he queries, "Breakfast?"

Has he changed the topic so I stop feeling uncomfortable? That would be just like him. He really is that considerate.

"Nah … On a diet, remember?"

"No dinner, no breakfast—you are going to fade away," he chides.

 "If only that were true. This," I pinch the pyjama-clad skin of my thighs, holding it out to the side, "is proof that I have enough fat to survive a few famines."

"Honestly lovely" he grumbles, "you do need energy to survive."

"I live on Vitamin C and fresh air," I proclaim.

"In this city? Perhaps you should rephrase that to Vitamin D and recycled air."

Panky can always be trusted to correct my ramblings; he has these facts right at his fingertips. Trust me to have the only fashion-conscious-high IQ-geek in the world for a best friend.

I pat his cheek. "Stop worrying; I will be just fine." Tossing back the dregs of my chai, I thump my mug down onto the tiny breakfast table. "It’s an experiment," I call out over my shoulder, en-route to my room. "I am trying to see how many meals I can skip before I give in to the hunger."

Panky groans, "Why can’t you place the used mug in the sink? I simply don’t understand, you spoilt children from rich homes …"

It makes me grin with wicked pleasure.

Passing the machete hanging on the wall of the living room, I pull it down, brandishing it at him in a mock attack. It’s a strange weapon inherited from the past tenant that we have never bothered to take down. It’s quite ugly to look at, slightly rusted from the sea air which has corroded the metal. Yet it seems to have some kind of antique value; it’s probably by far the most valuable thing in the slightly rundown living room. It’s definitely the quirkiest item there.

Our landlady, Mrs D’Souza, has furnished the room with odds and ends of mismatched furniture. She seems to particularly favour combining antique pieces inherited from her great-grandmother with modern glass and chrome. It’s a rather unsettling combination, as if I am forever living on a portal balanced between the past and the future.

I slip the machete into its sheath, and hang it back on the hook. My regular workouts with the sword have made me feel rather possessive about it. It’s not mine, but for the time being, as long as I live in this place, I have laid stake to it. Or perhaps it has claimed me?

Walking past my bedroom into the bathroom, I drop my pyjamas messily on the floor before stepping into the shower.

Despite my earlier dawdling, I am dressed in less than ten minutes. With little effort, I throw on my usual uniform of sneakers and a plaid shirt tucked into the waistband of skinny Diesel jeans, with my satchel-like handbag slung over my shoulder. Oversized Ray-Bans are perched on my nose.

I take a last look at myself in the mirror. I may have left SoBo, but damned if I was going to give up my designer clothes. Sure I am just a lowly intern with a social media marketing company, but hey, nothing stops me from being with it, right?

No longer SoBo. Not suburban.

I am ... SoBurban

That's me all right. Not belonging to either camp.

I pause at the doorway to the living room. Panky has draped himself across the settee with the delirious chatter of a hyper-excited news presenter for company. "… Coffee bean shortage predicted due to floods. Mars, Earth, and the sun all aligned last night, a rare opposition of the planets that only happens once every 778 days. But this event is even more remarkable as it occurred precisely a week before everyone on Earth will see the first of four red blood moons. An extraordinary event some believe represents the second coming of the saviour …"

"Oh! What trash," I complain. "It’s worse than reality TV. And why is she always screaming at the top of her voice?"

"It’s breaking news, and she’s excited to break it to us. Isn’t that enough?" Panky grins. "Besides, I am a news junkie." Seeing I’m spoiling for a fight he hurriedly turns down the volume: "Sexy model look today, I see?"

"You think?" I pose, my right hand on my slightly thrust out hip. "Really, Panky? This is hardly sexy."

"It’s those Angelina Jolie sunglasses my dear. V-e-r-r-y sexy."

"And here I was trying to downplay my allure." I bat my eyelashes.

 "Just the opposite, d-ah-ling!" He grins.

 "Will it attract too much attention?" A little pinprick of apprehension crawls into my stomach. "Should I change, you think?"

Not that it matters, anyway. I can wear the most ill-fitting clothes in my wardrobe, yet there is bound to be at least one smart-ass, wannabe Romeo on the street who is going to whistle whilst cycling by, or offer rude remarks while I’m walking past.

"Nah!" Pankaj assures me. "You can handle yourself, no? After all if it wasn't for you ..."  He lets the words hang in the air. I know he is thinking about how we met. I had been living on a friend's couch not far from here, and one night, on the way back home, I had stumbled across Panky, surrounded by three other kids. One of them had him by the collar; the other held a knife. They had been trying to rob him of his phone and his wallet. My instinct had been to run.

Good thing I had some knowledge of self-defence to help me here.

Unable to deal with my temper tantrums, my ma had entrusted me to the capable hands of Dr Poonawala, SoBo’s most famous child psychologist. I was dropped off for weekly sessions at his clinic from the age of five till I turned fifteen. Channel your anger into physical activitywas his advice. It’s thanks to him I enrolled in as many physical training classes as possible, from sword fighting to jiu jitsu. It wasn’t long before I found myself addicted to the rush of endorphins brought on by pushing my body to its physical limits. That's all it was though. The anger was hidden, but very alive. Now, facing those bullies I felt those sparks catch fire.

I stayed to help Panky.

And, they had come at both of us.

If it had not been for a family passing by which had raised the alarm ... I dread to think what would have happened.

Still, one rash act of courage does not mean I am used to the unwanted male scrutiny on the streets.
I am better at coming to other people's aid than my own.

"I am not so sure." The skin-tight jeans live up to their promise, embracing my curves, every move I make magnified through their loving touch. They are all the rage in other parts of the world, but on the roads of this city where people still strive to make ends meet, I know the trousers will seem out of place … but will they seem too provocative? Glancing down at the screen of the iPhone to check the time, I shrug. "Damn, no time to change anyway." I pull at the shirt till it comes free of the jeans, the material now halfway to my thighs, sighing at the inevitable crumpled tail ends. "Gotta go, bye honey!" I blow Pankaj a kiss. It’s a joke between us, this role-playing at matrimony. One that I know pleases him enormously.

"Ciao, darling." Pankaj grimaces. "We’re never gonna find husbands at this rate."

I lean over to kiss his smooth cheek. No doubt he shaved as soon as he rolled out of bed. "With friends like you, who needs a man?" I grin.

"I do!" Pankaj’s voice follows me out the door as I run towards the gates of our bungalow in Pali Hill, the most genteel of all the middle-class suburbs of the city.

I pause on the threshold next to a man who is always there, just outside our bungalow gates. I have sometimes walked home in the early morning after a night out, just as he is setting up his little corner of the world. He doesn’t look up as I pass. I have grown fond of the balding spot at the top of his head. That’s all I ever see of his face, for he is always bent over his notebook: writing. What does he scribble day and night? Can one person carry around so much in his head?

He has curly hair worn in a halo as if to contain the flow of letters, like Lord Shiva trying to contain the restless holy Ganges River in his matted locks. As always he is wearing faded jeans, a grey shirt tucked in, and a tie loosely knotted around his neck. He also wears leather loafers, which have seen better days. The sign in front of him reads:

The end is near

There’s also an upturned hat to receive any donations from passers-by. He never asks for money.

He is a writer.

He is a beggar.

"How many days, then?" I ask as I always do. It’s another running joke in my life, this wisecracking with the gentleman-beggar. Of course, he never answers me.

Or he hadn’t till now. He holds up his fingers: All ten of them.

I come to a complete standstill. In all this time, I have never seen his face. I have forgotten he has one, for all 
that has ever been visible is the top of his head. It’s the first time he has even acknowledged my presence. A premonition runs down my back. I push it away.

"Ten what? Months? Years?" I demand fiercely.

He only smiles, showing a gap between his front teeth. That doesn’t help at all. I am looking for reassurances. I get questions in return. I run out of the gates of the bungalow.


Having managed to hail down an auto-rickshaw in half the time it would normally take me on any other day, I stand on the platform of Bandra train station. I have to position myself sideways to fit between the double-door-refrigerator sized, saree-clad aunty on one side, and a girl furiously working the keys of her phone on the other. The fishy, undisguised-by-any-deodorant smell of sweaty armpits shot through with the sharp notes of attar-like perfume imported from the Middle East, all wrapped up in that distinctive smell of red carbolic—Lifebuoy soap—entangle in the hairs of my nostrils.

A ripple runs through the throng in anticipation of the arrival of the train. We are runners at the start of an obstacle race, each of us itching to be the first off the mark.

I brush away a light stroke on my thigh, concentrating on putting one foot in front of the other, pushing away the large handbag of the woman next to me, which threatens to get in the way, hampering my own jump to the finish line. As the touch persists I finally look down to see a hand. It brushes my thigh, once, then again. The hand has a life of its own, detached from its owner.

It’s as if I have stepped back from my body, watching the action unfold as the fingers of the Hand walk their way up my leg, disappearing underneath the hem of my shirt. It pauses once to gently squeeze the soft bulge of my jeans around the skin of my inner thigh.

I follow the arm, the other way, all the way up to the face of the thin, gangly fellow it belongs to. Where did he come from? And I had thought it was safe to travel in the ladies’ compartment.

 He stares straight ahead, a serene look on his features, as if to say, Don’t look at me, I don’t know what my hand is doing, really! It belongs to someone else.

I open my mouth in surprise to protest at the invasion, yet something stops me from saying anything aloud. Should I scream? Shove away that horrible thing even now touching my body? Will that not put the spotlight squarely on me? Yet, the audacity, the callousness, the sheer insensitivity of it all has me speechless. It gnaws at me. Surely, I should do something?

 He smiles. Innocence—it flickers on his face, breaking that strange, indecisive trance I have fallen into. My hand jerks up to slap him; once, twice—and then I am falling. Shoved by the same hand, I am thrust through the birth canal of the crowds. Goaded by an unseen force, I burst through to the other side, plunging headfirst off the platform. I hit the edge of the tracks: right in the path of the oncoming local train. Pain explodes through my side.

I have always obsessed about the future … is it because I don’t have one?

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