Sunday, 27 June 2010

My second life

Looking out of the hospital window at the patch of blue sky and the few leaves swaying in the breeze, I wondered if I would ever get out of there. Would I ever go out again for a normal meal like a normal person, chat around the coffee machine in the office, walk in the park with my beloved. Would I?

Of course I did recover, slowly. Physically faster. But emotionally something had changed. No longer was I the invincible bouncing back after the flu, focussed, incredibly determined, knowing what I want and making it happen person. The person with the 10 things to do before I die list. My own proud timeline to making it all happen for myself before I became an age when I looked back and said if only! Well I was I guess still somewhat that person, but I wasn't. Something somewhere had changed. Melted. Much more of a bridge to the larger world, and people and all those small things to care about which are a cliche, but suddenly ranked through.

Another surprise was my wanting to share. Like I could be open and tell what had happened. It had happened. A fact of life. I did live through it. And make it back.