Tuesday, 1 November 2011

Why Kim Kardashian should try arranged marriage Indian style - next time



The tweets are abuzz with the sound of Kim Kardashian's divorce.  Move over the 7 billionth baby on this planet, the twitterati is getting its knickers in a twist at a very different set of numbers. 10M dollars were spent on the wedding of Kim and Kris, 450 guests attended, she wore 3 dresses, and it seems they earned $18m from the wedding. As is legend now, we all know it ended just 72 days later.

Well here are ten reasons why I think Kim may be better off trying an arranged marriage Bollywood ishtyle in her pursuit of true love

1.   She could arrange for an old fashioned ‘swayamvar’ ie. Where all the rich eligible newly minted Indian multi-billionaires could vie to impress her with the unique expensive gifts (did you know that mini-submarines are the current craze in Bombay?)

2.   She gets to keep all the gifts.

3.   She would get her parents to help pick out her prospective spouse (think pre-episodes before the reality series of the actual wedding) hmmm! Does that help?

4.   The most famous celebrity astrologer in the world could match ‘horoscopes’ ie. their star-charts and numerology is compatible.

5.   Kim could get married in front of the Taj Mahal, (sets a theme for her next six each in front of one of the seven wonders of the world.) An entertaining exotica of a spectacle to earn her even more this time around?

6.   Her wedding is a Bollywood hit spectacle (seven songs in three hours composed by the best pop talent in the world.) ie. lucrative syndication around the world directed by Baz Luhrman. 

7.   She could change thirty dresses in the space of three hours and no-one would bat an eye-lid (it’s of-course normal in Bollywood)

8.   This time around in all the pictures there would be a discreet distance between bride and groom (a la Indian style) so that when they finally hold hands, twitter would explode all over again (Kim and bridegroom finally hold hands 72 days after the wedding)

9.   Then the excitement of building the richest home to out-do the world’s first billion dollar home Antilla built by the Ambani’s in the centre of Bombay

10.  Finally 72 days later she would have just begun to know her extended family (let alone her husband, so at this rate the marriage would definitely last a lifetime)  

What do you think?
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