Sunday, 13 November 2011

Why Pippa Middleton should look to Bollywood for her next boyfriend.


Yes she has split, yes she is single. And the men are rejoicing at another shot at being just one step removed from the most celebrated couple on this planet the Duke & Duchess of Cambridge. But I digress, for this piece is about the other Middlleton girl.

The rumour mills have gone to town with speculation that her now ex-boyfriend Alex Loudon couldn’t cope with the star she had become, that he hated the papparazzi accompanying him wherever they went, that his well-to-do and discreet family did not relish the spotlight, etc, etc. 

But here is why I think Pippa could do better by looking to Bollywood for her next love

  1. Since her taste runs to cricketers some of the most talented (and with the most lucrative sponsorship deals in the world) are to be found in Bombay making a second career in Bollywood. Cricketers from the subcontinent (Imran Khan, et al) have long had a history of dating film stars and royalty from around the world, so this would barely raise eyebrows.
  2. Pippa’s said to be a tough and focussed lady, so she could adopt a toyboy a la Liz Hurley and get to work grooming him to be exactly the kind of person she wants ie, tanned and happy to revel in the limelight, which comes easy to most Bollywood stars who have spent their lives being worshipped by a billion adoring fans.
  3. Like the newly arrived Middletons Bollywood star families would welcome a world famous personality like Pippa with open arms given that everyone in India is so keen to always give another reason why ‘India has arrived on the world stage.’ So lots in common making for happy in-laws all around.
  4. Forget being straitlaced and being rebuffed for letting your hair down on the dance floor at most Bollywood weddings the bride is expected to set the dance floor alight and shake a leg with her groom in a beautifully hand crafted auspicious red coloured designer saree.
  5. And just in case you hadn’t realised yet, all good Indian men have their life controlled first by their mothers and then their wives & mother -in-laws. Forget what you have read about the domineering Indian male, we are a matriarchal society. At home the wife wears the pants. Perfect for Pippa ....and her mother too.
  6. Given the talk of a lucrative book deal, she could do worse then tapping into the thriving print publishing Industry in India growing yet at 12% per year, with  one-fourth of the Indian youth (83 million)  identifying themselves as book readers. 
  7. It’s a match made in heaven for the fashion world. How does Pippa top the second most talked about dress which launched a thousand websites dedicated to her rear ? The answer is simple. Next stop has got to be a diamond studded designer saree. A style which transformed La Gaga herself into a sophisticated romantic woman in love. 
  8. Finally Pippa’s in good company. Bollywood stars are actually good looking. Check out some of the most luscious of them, immortalised here by Lady Gaga (am sure you will excuse my second reference to her in as many lines!) who tweeted "S**** Hollywood. It's all about Bollywood."   
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